DAVID ZITA
B&F MAYHEM
5/5/15
THE ANKH MORPORK TIMES
Unseen University Academics President Mustrum Ridcully launched a scathing attack on the Ankh Morpork United football club, claiming they “cheat whenever unobserved” and consume illicit “chemicals”.
Speaking at The Mended Drum pub for the Academics’ Best and Fairest awards last night, Ridcully claimed Ankh Morpork players were “ingesting some sort of function-augmentation chemicals”.
Morpork United club president, Henry Dean, slammed The Medned Drum, saying it couldn’t run functions “like a football awards night”.
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